out of sudden

No more intention to listen about it anymore. I cried over a friend who seek for me when she is in a bad condition. I cried over a friend who just pretend to like me. I cried over a friend when that particular friend ignore me. I cried over a friend who keeps on scolding me. I cried over a friend who pretend that she don't know me. I cried over a friend who don't appreciate me as her friend. I cried over many kinds of friends. Physically and mentally, I'm no satisfaction of what I have discovered.

I never thought of doing this again, posting whatever craps in my mind. Despite that I should be doing my tons homework and complete my oral text at time like this. But today I have this kind of aura inside me, to actually update this blog.

When I was doing Physics, and the questions are absolutely indescribable, a few people slipped through my mind. There are moments when we were having our ups and downs. No doubt that friendship is like a roller coaster. I went through it all. Somehow, I dislike it, it still taught me priceless lessons that I'm sure that I'll adapt it in life sooner.

I always think that I know how to deal a friendship. How to take care of our friendships. Actually, I am not that good. I might cry on your shoulder, asking for your advices. You are there, just there till things are over. Then you will slightly disappear. Ignoring every single hi from me. Maybe you think this is a total absurd but it really hurts me, deeply. You have your friends, who will always guide you around, laugh with you all day long. I might not be like them, I do not know how to be like them. I might not be that assuring to you. So I move on.

You may come to me when you have problems. Problematical matter that you cannot solve it on your own. You said thank you, and I am smiling from ear to ear. But things just stopped there, when everything is on track again. I kept on saying who am I to you. You find it hilarious, but that is the only way I want you to recognize my present. Sorry to say, I felt contented when you have problems.

I stand straight now. I have my own pride. I can always befriend with whoever I want. There is no you in me to tell me what should I do. I treat you special because you treated me once. I used to be the leftover, walk on my own, thinking about myself. Sorry if I hurt you, cause I'm just a human. And I don't get away from doing mistakes.

I do not find you serious, that is why I hardly believe when you missed me. I confide it, but how about you? You can go deep to someone, but that someone is not me. Little touched, yes I am, but I think I can still handle it. With just a silly argue, we end up like this. I hope you are in a good condition now. Sorry for all the tears I shed, and tears you shed.

♥


Maybe some of you will find this post a total irritating and meaningless because I've always bought up a story of friends and how I have problems with my friends and etc. Sorry to disappoint you but this is what had cross my mind. And I do confess it here, whether you like it or not.